Ossie's Blog

It’s nearly ready

Suzanna Miles — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 20:08:26 +0000

Mummy and daddy have been very busy with the rollovertherapy oils and stuff and have helped me to make my first product called UTTER DOG WASH. The bars of soap are made by hand (and the odd paw if I had my way) and contain nothing but good old fashioned oils (that I thought were for eating but apparently not!) with a dash of essential oil. Because we know that us doggies have sensitive noses and systems our UTTER DOG WASH contains less than 0.5% essential oil, and we use lemongrass and mint to help to discourage those little itchy flea friends us doggies tend to acquire at times. All of our agricultural ingredients are organically certified.

I have been very keen to help, but mummy just shoos me out the way – apparently they don’t need my paw prints in the soap but I think it would add an air of authenticity. I would feel like a film star dog on Sunset Boulevard.

Anyway 10% of the price of the utter dog wash you buy on our website (www.greenorenaturals.com) will go to Bath Cats and Dogs Home and even more if you buy it direct from the Shop at the Paw Store.

So buy our soap or the dogs won’t get it!

Dont feed me at the table!

Suzanna Miles — Wed, 27 May 2009 19:49:00 +0000

My mummy says this could happen to me and I dont want it to so I just say NO to treats. (OK I’m fibbing but my mummy’s strict).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQCwHluBqFc

Please Support Hungry Dogs

Suzanna Miles — Mon, 25 May 2009 09:17:00 +0000

I have been googling with my wooglie paws and found this site and it’s fun. It ask doggie related questions and no matter what answer you give they give food to needy dogs. Thats my kind of quiz!
I can find any question like “if it takes 5 dogs 2 hours to dig a hole, what time’s dinner ?” but I think I will send it in as a suggestion ………….

http://www.freekibble.com/

Playing in the sun

Suzanna Miles — Sun, 24 May 2009 09:09:00 +0000

I’ve been running around playing with my squeaky snowman/bone thingy having a right laugh this morning! What do you mean proper work? This is proper dog work!

Who am I again?

Suzanna Miles — Fri, 22 May 2009 20:05:00 +0000

I am currently in a huff what with all the names I get called around this place. It’s a wonder I can remember my proper name when I get called things like Oswald, Ossie, Woogle, Badger, Ozzikins, Oswald Dogwald, the Dogmeister (actually I quite like this one), Stinkles McPhee, Sir Woogsalot, and Hairy Dog…. It’s almost enough to pack up my bones and bowl and move out! (well, OK, maybe not, I do get good food here.)

Suzanna Miles — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 20:04:00 +0000

Some days are such hard work that I just have to have forty winks every so often. This was just after a long walk around the lanes and across the fields!

How Oswald the Springer Spaniel Opened the Paw Store at Bath Cats & Dogs Home

Suzanna Miles — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 08:39:00 +0000

Every Dog Must Have his Day – by Ossie (dog)

Well I eventually found out that’s true because I finally got mine. I was guest of honour at the opening of the Paw Store at Bath Cats & Dogs home today and it really was great. A few months ago, Daddy entered a competition to guess the new name of the shop at the home and he was lucky enough to be right. Then a kind lady called Maureen rang and asked if Daddy would like to come and open the new shop together with a lady who had also guessed the right name, and as a former resident I was invited along as a special guest (well I invited myself really but nobody seemed to mind). I lived there once, for about a week, before my new Mummy and Daddy took me home so I was really pleased to go back and see all the lovely people who took care of me before.

Oh and it was such fun! Mummy went in first because I am not always very well behaved with other dogs and then she came back and took Daddy and me into a special room at the back. I think it had been set up just for me. I was so excited to see everybody and there seemed to be lots of nice food on the table, but I don’t think it was put there for me because Mummy kept me well fed with treats. I have a habit of getting over enthusiastic at times, especially when I am on a lead, and when I meet new people, but the treats seem to help – I think Mummy may put something in them ‘cos when I know she has treats I am extra specially good. Anyway lots of nice people said how handsome I am and gave me lots of strokes and fusses. They all said thing like “Ossie aren’t you beautiful,” and “hasn’t he a lovely temperament” and lots of nice things like that whilst they patted my head, smoothed my long dangly ears and stroked my velvety chin. I felt very special indeed because I was the only dog allowed in the back room and I don’t think many dogs are allowed in there because I couldn’t smell any other dogs. I was very tempted to leave a little calling card, so that if other dogs did for some reason get into the special room, they would know I was there first, but Mummy is quite strict about that sort of thing so I thought better of it.

Then Daddy took me outside again and a lady came with us and took lots of photos of me and that was fun too. I am not sure what language they were speaking because they weren’t very good at telling me where to sit. Every time I sat down they made me turn round, or they moved and so naturally I had to get up and see why they had moved. They did give me lots of treats though, and I heard the lady click her camera quite a few times and then say ‘oh, I think he moved again’ and then I got more treats. So I quickly worked out that to get more treats I had to keep moving and I managed to get an awful lot of treats. Then Daddy took me back to the car and left me inside (with the window open of course and it was cool weather), and he went back inside to say goodbye to everybody and collect Mummy who had been having a lovely time looking at all the nice gifts in the new shop, drinking tea and eating all the cake that they would not let me have. Mummy had given Maureen, the lady in charge, some little soaps that she had made to sell in the shop. The soaps smelt really lovely and the chocolate ones taste great (but that is another story! You can find out more at http://www.greenorenaturals.com/ .)

Then Mummy and Daddy came back to see me with a lady who made another fuss of me and that was really special because after all the lovely fusses earlier, I was not expecting anything more. Then we went home and I fell asleep on my paw-print bed in front of the fire and dreamed about being a Mentor to the President’s new puppy and how we abolished cruelty to all animals. A perfect end to a wonderful day.

Well Hello there

Suzanna Miles — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 21:45:00 +0000

This is my first blog so please bear with me but first I must address a few issues. I dare say you are wondering how it’s possible that a dog is able to use such wonderfully complicated technology. It’s very simple – I am a telepathic dog and I transmit my messages to one of my staff, who very kindly type it up for me. Unfortunately, the most receptive member of my staff is also severely dyslexic, and this does cause some interesting translation issues. Occasionally, the dyslexic one is able to pin down our resident spelling bee champion, and she then dictates to him, and he writes. Generally speaking, he is too tired to do this often, and therefore most of my posts will be written in Dyslexish. We are thinking of publishing a dyslexish thesuarus and dictionery but as we can’t spell any of these words, it probably wouldn’t be very helpful.
One final point on language that I feel it is my duty to amend is the infuriating use of the word ‘cat’ creeping into various words, henceforth, these words shall be – dogalogue, dogatonic, dogastrophe, dogacombs, condoganation, etc. (not that I wish to be dogmatic about it). So I shall leave you now pondering the intricacies of my wonderful ability to communicate in the hope you will enjoy the musings of a very happy dog who spends most of his life philosophising about the nature of existence (e.g. Is There A Dog? Yes. Me.)